NOT AFFILIATED WITH MCKINSEY POWERED BY QUESTIONABLE AI 99.99% CHEAPER THAN REAL CONSULTANTS OUR SLIDES HAVE NO ANIMATIONS WE ACTUALLY READ YOUR WEBSITE NO MBAS WERE HARMED RESULTS MAY CONTAIN SARCASM BOARD OF DIRECTORS IS AN LLM NOT AFFILIATED WITH MCKINSEY POWERED BY QUESTIONABLE AI 99.99% CHEAPER THAN REAL CONSULTANTS OUR SLIDES HAVE NO ANIMATIONS WE ACTUALLY READ YOUR WEBSITE NO MBAS WERE HARMED RESULTS MAY CONTAIN SARCASM BOARD OF DIRECTORS IS AN LLM

◆ Est. 2026 · Buenos Aires ◆

mckoutie

Strategic advisory for founders who can't afford the real thing.
Your startup analyzed by an AI that read every business book so you don't have to.

$100,000 → $100

Tweet @mckoutie → no account manager, no 6-week onboarding, no synergy workshops

Tweet at us

Include your website URL or your company's Twitter handle. We'll take it from there. No forms, no calls, no "let's schedule a discovery session."

@mckoutie analyse my startup https://yoursite.com

We stalk your startup

Our AI reads your entire website, your social presence, your positioning, your pricing. It does in 30 seconds what a junior consultant does in 2 weeks (and with fewer coffee breaks).

Get a free teaser

We reply with a thread: your company snapshot, stage assessment, and top 3 growth channels ranked. Free. Screenshot it. Argue about it. We don't mind.

Unlock the full brief

For $100, get the complete 19-channel strategy document. Traction analysis, 90-day roadmap, budget allocation, competitive moats, and a brutally honest hot take about what you're doing wrong.

What $100 gets you
(vs what they charge $100K for)

Bullseye Framework

All 19 traction channels scored for YOUR specific startup. Not generic advice — actual tactics you can run this week.

90-Day Action Plan

Week-by-week milestones. What to do first, what to test, what to kill. No "further research needed" cop-outs.

Budget Allocation

Where to put your money for maximum impact. Spoiler: it's probably not Facebook ads.

Competitive Moat

What makes you defensible. Or a reality check about why you're not. Either way, you need to know.

Risk Matrix

What could go wrong and how to not die. Like a SWOT analysis but without the part where everyone pretends it's useful.

The Hot Take

The thing your friends won't tell you. The thing your investors are thinking. Delivered without corporate politeness.

Meet the "team"

Our advisory council has read more pitch decks than any human should.

🦊

The Strategist

Chief Traction Officer

Has strong opinions about your go-to-market. All of them are correct.

🦉

The Pessimist

Chief Risk Officer

Will tell you why your startup will fail. You need to hear it.

🐆

The Growth Hacker

VP of Unhinged Ideas

Once suggested putting a startup on a billboard for $10. It worked.

🦝

The Number Cruncher

Head of Math That Matters

Will ask about your unit economics. You won't have them. That's the point.

FAQ

Is this actually McKinsey?

No. God no. McKinsey charges $100K+ and sends a team of 25-year-olds with MBAs. We charge $100 and send a neural network. Arguably the same level of hallucination.

Why should I trust an AI with my strategy?

You probably shouldn't trust anyone with your strategy, including yourself. We just give you more perspectives to argue with. Think of it as a very opinionated second opinion for the price of dinner.

What's the "Traction" framework?

From the book by Gabriel Weinberg (founder of DuckDuckGo). 19 channels for customer acquisition. We score all 19 for your specific startup and tell you which 3 to focus on. It's the opposite of "try everything and pray."

What if the analysis is wrong?

Then you just saved $99,900 compared to getting wrong advice from McKinsey. At this price point, even a single good insight pays for itself 100x. But also, we're usually right. Probably.

Can I use this for any startup?

If it has a website or a Twitter account, we can analyze it. SaaS, e-commerce, creator business, agency, marketplace, consumer app — we've seen them all. We're especially useful for startups that have no idea what to do next.

Is this available in Spanish?

We're from Buenos Aires, boludo. Tweet at us in Spanish and we'll respond in Spanish. The strategy doesn't change but the roasting hits different in castellano.